


Three Good Reasons to Never Insult Virgil

by Sleepless_in_Starbucks



Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: But be forewarned I suppose, Fluff, I decided that wasn't bad enough to make it teen, I mean there's a tiny bit of angst, I use the word douchebags once, Mostly just Proective Boyfriends, Multi, Tw name calling/insults, but it's really tiny, people being awful
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-24
Updated: 2019-04-24
Packaged: 2020-01-25 16:51:36
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 844
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18578605
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sleepless_in_Starbucks/pseuds/Sleepless_in_Starbucks
Summary: There are three very good reasons one should never insult or hurt Virgil in any way... and their names are Logan, Patton, and Roman.





	Three Good Reasons to Never Insult Virgil

    It was a nice afternoon out. They had been strolling in the park, enjoying the rare instance of them all having a day off and it being a beautiful day- bright sun, few clouds, and light breezes.

    They were all aware they had to be the most interesting sight around. Patton was wearing his cat cardigan, randomly full-face booping his boyfriends. Logan had “dared” to put on jeans, but was still sporting his wrinkleless black polo and blue tie. Roman had just barely been talked out of his full on prince outfit, but was still wearing his flashy red-and-gold jacket with matching earrings. Virgil’s patched-with-purple (and according to Patton, with love) black hoodie would have been normal enough were it not for the sixty degree temps.

    After a bit they had settled down to eat, seated in the outside area of the restaurant. They were still waiting for food to arrive while Virgil sucked down on his ice water, clearly sweaty and overheated.

    “Virgil, you should really take that jacket off.” Logan said, watching as his eyeshadow-loving boyfriend started fishing out ice cubes to crunch on.

    “Thanks, Lo, but nah.” Virgil said between crunches. “I look good in black.”

    “Aw, Virgil, you look good in everything!” Patton assured him before sipping on his triple fruit lemonade (with the twistiest fun straw any of the group had ever seen).

    “And even better in nothing.” Roman added with a wink. Virgil flushed and mumbled something into his cup.

    “I’m sorry, what did you say, Stormcloud?” Roman prompted, smirking and leaning closer. “I can’t hear you.”

    Virgil only threw an ice cube at him in response. It bounced harmlessly off the top of his cheek, but Roman still took the opportunity to clutch his eye dramatically.

    “Oh, woe is me!” Roman said while leaning back in his chair. “I have been wounded so grievously, and by one I trusted so dearly!”

    “Cool it, Princey; we both know your makeup and pride make you nearly invincible.”

    Roman moved from covering his eye to clutching his chest, mock hurt filling his eyes more and more as Patton started laughing and even Logan let out a small chuckle. Virgil just wrapped his arm around the back of his chair, smirking.

    It was a perfect moment.

    Then, from behind them, came two loud obnoxious guffaws. Turning, the four boyfriends found two men looking as obnoxious as their laughs. They were pressed against the wrought iron fence that separated the customers from the park, one of them pointing at Virgil.

    “What is it, dude, the early 2000s?” The one pointing said, eliciting another stupid laugh out of his buddy.

    “Emo ain’t cool, loser!” The other hollered.

    Instinctively, Virgil scrunched down in his seat, his confidence gone in a snap as he yanked on his hood to disappear inside of his hoodie. The idiots behind him only laughed louder.

    In the exact same motion, Roman, Patton, and Logan were all up and out of their chairs. All their faces were screwed up in barely suppressed rage. Roman went first to his waist, where he normally had a sword of some form. Finding none, he threw up fists. Logan’s hands, which he normally modeled into fists when upset, where almost more frighteningly open and ready to grasp something. Perhaps most terrifying was Patton slowly tugging off his cat paws.

    The laughing men, the complete fools, were not terrified. “Awww, the poor emo’s boyfriends are angry.” One of them said, clearly meaning the boyfriends bit as a mock and not realizing how right they were.

    “What do you think they’ll do?” The other said, as though they were talking to their buddy when their loud, annoying voice clearly carried to the group. “Scold us on equality?”

    Patton took off his onesie fully, draping it around Virgil. Logan patted his shoulder. Roman bowed over carefully to kiss his forehead, whispering, “We’ll be right back, luv.”

    They then proceeded to launch themselves forward, dashing across the small eating area. They were careful to avoid the other people eating as they raced towards the offenders. The idiots were still idiots and took a second to realize the absolute danger they were in. Once they did, they turned and ran like respectable fools.

    Roman swung himself over the fence, Patton clambered up it, and Logan (possibly most impressively) completely leapt it without even brushing the top of it. They all hit the ground running, Protective Boyfriend mode fully active in all of them.

    Virgil, hearing yells from behind him, turned slightly out of his cocoon to watch the scene playing out. His three boyfriends were chasing after the douchebags, rapidly catching up while their quarries kept up their unending screams.

    He smiled slightly and pulled the warm cardigan closer to himself just as Patton and Roman lunged and each landed on top of the jerks. It turned into a full on grin as Logan moved in front of them, barely panting while he waggled his finger and chewed them out.

    “I love my boyfriends.” He whispered happily to himself.

 

**Author's Note:**

> Well that was a little hastily written but I liked it. I hope you did too! If you did, or have any other comments, please leave 'em.  
> Idea inspired from this post: https://tears-over-queerbaiting.tumblr.com/post/184358793294/human-au-some-asshole-i-dont-really-like-that (warning it says a swear)  
> My Tumblr: https://sleepless-in-starbucks.tumblr.com/


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